Interview with Ghostkid

«it's fucking heavy to be happy»

The last time we interviewed Ghostkid vocalist Sebastian "Sushi" Biesler was a couple years ago, before the release of the debut album, and since then, some things have definitely changed for the project. "Sushi" himself says he took something from Marilyn Manson, Fever 333 and Bring Me the Horizon in the process of creating his music. He combined that inspiration with darkness, aggression, sadness and a little bit of pop, as well as influences from nu-metal, rap, industrial and rock. "Sushi" kindly took some time to answer some of our questions about new tattoos, self-expression on stage, and what the real "Hollywood Suicide" is all about.

As you're in the midst of promoting your new album, you must be doing a lot of interviews today. Are you getting tired of all the media attention? 

Oh, not at all! I had a couple days off before, and this interview is literally the first one I've done today. So it's fine. But interviews aren't usually the most stressful, so it's cool. I'm even enjoying doing it. 

Oh, you got new tattoos? How long have you been a fan of all those body modifications? Do tattoos have any spiritual meaning for you? 

We actually just finished this neck tattoo. And I'm really glad we finished this neck tattoo, because, you know, the neck is not the nicest place for things like tattoos. It depends, I think. Everything I do on my upper body is just something I like. Tattoos that have some significance are more often placed on my arms. And my legs are more for my album art or if I'm a little drunk and want to do some fun stuff. So it's all more like collecting moments and art. 

It's been about 2 years since the last album, if I'm not mistaken. We did an interview with you back then too. How much has your view on creativity and music changed during this time?

Yeah, I remember your name! So many things have changed. And the biggest change for me would be that I've been redefining for myself what success and art mean. I would say that the first album was written more by intuition. Of course, now there's more pressure that you have to make things better and things like that. But for me personally, now the main thing I would like to focus on is how I feel—to focus more on my inner world and put that into the tracks. I am focusing more on the things I want to say to myself and be heard about. Probably the biggest change for me. 

When you were preparing new songs, did you use your personal experiences more or was your creativity also influenced by the situation in the world?

Its depends. Yesterday, I had a very in-depth interview about everything that is happening in the world right now. If to give some of my personal point of view as an artist who is growing and evolving, it can be taken as a basis that Ghostkid is some kind of persona that I can use to express myself when I have some thought or idea in my mind that bothers me.  Most of the inspiration comes from my mind. And it's such a time in the world right now that I'd say it's fucking heavy to be happy. I also have the feeling that everything is happening too fast right now. It's too loud, too fast. 

In one of your music videos, you decided to film your fans. How did you enjoy the experience?

You mean FSU? That was great. And we had a really nice crowd! Of course, video shoots are always planned, but you never really know what type of people will end up on set. But we were really lucky. I also think it's cool when people can participate in your art and share that art experience. So I really enjoyed the shoot, and thanks to everyone who was there! 

If you go back a couple years, is there anything you would have done differently?

I can say that even including my previous experience in other bands, I've never focused enough specifically on myself as an artist who can create something, like a whole album or something. When I left Eskimo Callboy, my first thoughts were, "Okay, am I capable of writing my own texts and songs?" And if I could change anything, I wanted to tell myself, "Hey, just trust yourself and focus on that." Because the whole Ghostkid thing is such a crazy and painful thing sometimes, but through it I was able to discover a lot of things about myself, and it helped me learn just about myself. 

What is the main motif or topic of your new album? 

The album is called "Hollywood Suicide" because that's what we do as artists. This is not as simple a lifestyle as it initially seems. You have to come face-to-face with so many things. And you never have weekends, holidays, Christmas, or things like that. You should always be in the process of your work and creative activity. But when it’s part of your personality, then you have a need to just do it 24/7. If you love something so much, then you don’t need restrictions and rules, and you are ready to give a lot to it. This is something like suicide. You just do what you love 24 hours a day, and sometimes you start asking yourself, "Why am I doing this shit? Why am I literally torturing myself?" Hollywood, of course, is often associated with various films and similar things. And for me, this city is just like something that is associated with art. 

The second thing is that the album is a concept album of sorts. In some way, it is inspired by the image of a Hollywood diva like Marilyn Monroe. It's also a reminder that it's dangerous as hell if you lose yourself in these things, like trying to make art or become famous. You really should be a strong person so as not to get lost. 

Do you have a secret to creating a cool and catchy song? 

When discussing what I've learned over the years when it comes to songwriting, it's best to start with the vocals. Maybe I'm just speaking from a singer's perspective, but when you hear a song on the radio, that's the first thing. What gets you are the vocals. I can say that you can have the most perfect instrumental part in a song in the world, but if it doesn't connect with the vocals, then that kind of work will just lead you nowhere. I also consider the voice to be one of the most difficult instruments; with its help, you can change the mood and direction of a song. Anyway, that's it. That's what works for me. My secret to writing catchy songs. I most often already have a vision of the entire track in my mind when the idea comes to me. But in general, I often work like a little child who has no knowledge at all and experiments. Originally, I'm just a guitar player and not very good at anything. I'm not the best singer on the planet. But I think. Here, you need to listen to yourself. And I just use what I have, and sometimes it works. 

Do you feel more emotionally fulfilled or emotionally empty after playing concerts or recording songs?

It depends on many factors. For me, this is again a way to express myself. Am I in a bad mood, or do I have something that needs to be expressed and released from my mind? Then I can create a song and put it as a little trophy on the album. And that's it; now this chapter is closed. And this is a great thing, because if the thing is negative, well, in general, my topics are mostly negative (laughs)... It's still a good thing, because if you can create something that resonates with other people, then you feel less alone. For me, music is always my home. And if people can relate to my song, sound, or mood, that's cool; you feel the connection. So after writing songs or performing concerts, I feel both: empty and fulfilled at the same time. On the one hand, I'm glad that this process is complete, and it also fills me with energy.

Also, when I listen to my songs again, all these moments and emotions seem to come back to me. And it's a wonderful feeling to be able to create something. 

Does music give you a sense of freedom and the feeling that you can be whoever you want to be?

I think so, but it's difficult. Therefore, the Ghostkid project changes from time to time. I discover my personality through fashion and all these things. For me, music is always connected with other forms of art. Be it design, fashion, or video, It's always like a whole movie for me. I'll say yes; you can do whatever you want. Of course, there are people who are afraid to leave their comfort zone because the competition is too big and people can very easily and quickly direct all their negativity at you. You know, when you read all these comments and start thinking, "Okay, can I wear a dress or this costume on stage?" And sometimes it's easy to say "do as you feel," but it's always a hard thing.

What would you say is the most important song for you at the moment?

I'd say it's "Heavy Rain" at the moment. The writing of this song was quite intense. I wrote this track when I was feeling absolutely miserable. I really put everything into this track, and it has a real connection to what I was going through. For most of the songs, it was fun songwriting and stuff like that. Of course, I'm very emotional when I'm working, but this track was super hard to write. I would say this is the most vulnerable song I've ever written, and that's why it's so important to me.

Do you have to get in the right mood and transform yourself before you perform on stage or before you write music? What helps you with that? 

When it comes to songwriting, when I get inspiration or feel an influence from the world that I have to follow, most of the time I just leave myself voice message (which I still don't do often enough) and then try to turn them into songs. If we discuss that, as for live concerts, all these little rituals, like doing makeup and getting dressed, help me get ready. Of course, the main preparation for concerts is rehearsals and listening to some music to get into the right mood. It also depends on the day and mood. Sometimes I wish I could be calmer and more focused.

And a word or two for music fans!

A few words for the fans? I think I do this in every interview! So, stop smoking! it's the best thing you can do (he says, lighting a cigarette and laughing). Buy the album! I hope you'll like it. But stop smoking! This is the most important thing. Life is too short!

Jenet Bonishi